Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
15 February 2012
01 August 2011
Art is Dead
I just saw the show the Green Room with Paul Provenza on Showtime. I love it when comics sit around talking about comedy. Actually, I love it whenever you can see or read experts in their field, people who care about what they do, discussing it amongst themselves (the move the Aristocrats is patently obscene, but a brilliant example of what I'm talking about).
In the first episode I saw there was Judd Apatow, Mark Maron, Ray Romano, Gary Shandling and a young comic named Bo Burnham who performed the song below. Good stuff.
It reminded me of the hours I used to spend watching Short Attention Span Theater with my brother back on the old Comedy Channel.
The impressive part was this kid was able to hold his own with the likes of Shandling and Provenza. Very talented.
17 July 2011
28 April 2011
28 January 2010
That's Funny
I saw this documentary a while ago on HBO with Jerry Seinfeld and it was quite good. He was explaining why he was going back on the road to do stand-up. It was his job; it's in his blood; it's what he enjoyed.
He talked about the satisfaction of doing well. An off-camera voice asked if it was easier now that he was established. "No," he said. He explained that reputation might buy you a minute, maybe two, but if you're not on the audience will feel it and let you know. No matter who you are.
I have no idea why I was thinking about this today, other than the fact that I was surprised and impressed with his introspection and desire to keep going out there and killing 'em. But think about it I did and it made me realize how impressive a great comedy album is. Then I started to think about my favorite comedy albums. And, in no particular order, here they are:
Honorable mention goes to Andrew Dice Clay's Dice. Yeah, he turned out to be a one-hit wonder that stayed around a lot longer than he needed to and yeah most of the material is misogynistic and offensive but, at the time (and I was about 14 or 15) it was funny as hell.
By the way, offensive isn't necessarily a bad thing if it's funny. And the funny means it stands the test of time. I don't think Dice's album does that. If I were to hear it now and laught, it would be more out of nostalgia than the true funniness of the material.
He talked about the satisfaction of doing well. An off-camera voice asked if it was easier now that he was established. "No," he said. He explained that reputation might buy you a minute, maybe two, but if you're not on the audience will feel it and let you know. No matter who you are.
I have no idea why I was thinking about this today, other than the fact that I was surprised and impressed with his introspection and desire to keep going out there and killing 'em. But think about it I did and it made me realize how impressive a great comedy album is. Then I started to think about my favorite comedy albums. And, in no particular order, here they are:
- Bill Cosby-Himself
- George Carlin-Just about anything, but I've always enjoyed What the Hell am I Doing in New Jersey
- Sam Kinison-Louder Than Hell
- Chris Rock-Bigger & Blacker
- Robin Williams-Live at the Met
- Eddie Murphy-Delirious
- Rodney Dangerfield-No Respect
- Bob Newhart-the Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart
Honorable mention goes to Andrew Dice Clay's Dice. Yeah, he turned out to be a one-hit wonder that stayed around a lot longer than he needed to and yeah most of the material is misogynistic and offensive but, at the time (and I was about 14 or 15) it was funny as hell.
By the way, offensive isn't necessarily a bad thing if it's funny. And the funny means it stands the test of time. I don't think Dice's album does that. If I were to hear it now and laught, it would be more out of nostalgia than the true funniness of the material.
17 September 2009
14 November 2008
Beard Me
Judges measure the beard of Sarwan Singh during a ceremony in Surrey, British Columbia November 11, 2008. Singh was attempting to break the Guinness World Record. Singh's beard measured at 1.895 metres.12 November 2008
Barstool Economics (& Taxation)
The following was posted over at facebook by an old friend. I guess it's been circulating. I enjoyed it and thought I'd post it here, also (please see update below).
Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.
So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve."Since you are all such good customers", he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20". Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his "fair share?"
They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
And so:
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).
Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.
"I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, "but he got $10!"
"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!"
"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"
"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!
And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.
*UPDATE*--This article was originally attributed to an economics professor at the University of Georgia. It has been brought to my attention that the professor did not write the above and I've removed his name. Please see here. I believe the moral of the parable still stands but think the beating up of the rich guy is a bit on the nose and doesn't help--and in many ways detracts--from the parable's main moral. I'm leaving it in the post, though, as I don't want to be seen as covering up the nasty bits.
Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.
So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve."Since you are all such good customers", he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20". Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his "fair share?"
They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
And so:
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).
Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.
"I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, "but he got $10!"
"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!"
"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"
"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!
And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.
*UPDATE*--This article was originally attributed to an economics professor at the University of Georgia. It has been brought to my attention that the professor did not write the above and I've removed his name. Please see here. I believe the moral of the parable still stands but think the beating up of the rich guy is a bit on the nose and doesn't help--and in many ways detracts--from the parable's main moral. I'm leaving it in the post, though, as I don't want to be seen as covering up the nasty bits.
09 November 2008
Ricky Gervais
I never knew he had a previous career:
I stumbled upon that while looking the below up for a friend. Just a great bit froms Extras:
I stumbled upon that while looking the below up for a friend. Just a great bit froms Extras:
28 October 2008
27 October 2008
Bumper Sticker
Seen on a car at a shopping center near my home.
Getting back into my car I saw the driver was a guy.
C'est la vie.
23 October 2008
02 October 2008
Funny Line
From Mark Steyn the other day:
If the entire global economy is so vulnerable that only the stalwart action of Barney Frank stands between it and ten years of soup kitchens, can it, in fact, be saved?
25 August 2008
the Hoff
Doesn't seem to want to go away.
I love this:
In my travels round the world I have always been surprised that no matter where I go people recognize and know me, from Europe, Australia and India to the Philippines and the Zulu Nation in South Africa. This got me thinking... I realized that while two people from two entirely different countries and backgrounds may seem to have nothing in common, the only thing they might have in common is me... So I decided to start a network where people from across the world might come together and get a conversation started over me. Where it will lead, I don't know but the world would be a better place if everyone talked a little more to each other...
the Narcissism is just staggering.
I love this:
In my travels round the world I have always been surprised that no matter where I go people recognize and know me, from Europe, Australia and India to the Philippines and the Zulu Nation in South Africa. This got me thinking... I realized that while two people from two entirely different countries and backgrounds may seem to have nothing in common, the only thing they might have in common is me... So I decided to start a network where people from across the world might come together and get a conversation started over me. Where it will lead, I don't know but the world would be a better place if everyone talked a little more to each other...
the Narcissism is just staggering.
14 August 2008
Pun Intended
This is in honor of my brother:
1. Two antennae met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does thistaste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says toDolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believeyou," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. DejaMoo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn'tfind any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other andsays "Dam!"
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire inthe craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can'thave your kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standingin the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse."But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate verylittle which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he sufferedfrom bad breath. This made him... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Great stuff. Nod to Jonah Goldberg and his wonderful readers.
UPDATE:
Did you hear about the midget fortuneteller that escaped from prison?
The newspaper headline read, "Small Medium at Large!"
Do you know how Descartes died?
He sat down at a bar. Bartender says, "can I get you something?'
Descartes said, "I think not," and vanished.
1. Two antennae met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does thistaste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says toDolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believeyou," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. DejaMoo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn'tfind any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other andsays "Dam!"
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire inthe craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can'thave your kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standingin the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse."But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate verylittle which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he sufferedfrom bad breath. This made him... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Great stuff. Nod to Jonah Goldberg and his wonderful readers.
UPDATE:
Did you hear about the midget fortuneteller that escaped from prison?
The newspaper headline read, "Small Medium at Large!"
Do you know how Descartes died?
He sat down at a bar. Bartender says, "can I get you something?'
Descartes said, "I think not," and vanished.
18 July 2008
Dr. Horrible
One of the funniest things I've seen since Chad Vader.
My wife and I just caught an episode of How I Met Your Mother for the first time and I just saw Harold and Kumar go to White Castle recently on Comedy Central.
Neil Patrick Harris is a genius.
My wife and I just caught an episode of How I Met Your Mother for the first time and I just saw Harold and Kumar go to White Castle recently on Comedy Central.
Neil Patrick Harris is a genius.
13 February 2008
12 February 2008
Orange Whip
In case you were wondering:
Orange Whip
Ingredients:
* 4 oz Orange juice
* 1 oz Rum
* 1 oz Vodka
* 1 package Cream or creamer
* Over Ice cubes
Mixing instructions:
Pour ingredients over ice and stir.
15 January 2008
19 November 2007
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